I realised I've no where else to rant. I can't post anything on tumblr, lest you read it. So i guess I'm back here.
Today hasnt been great at all. Be it the cold shoulders and wars. From last night. You not sharing anything with me makes me feel un-important. Not someone that you can turn to always. You say that you dont wna hurt me and whatever when you choose not to tell me stuff. But havent you thought that not telling me, and just letting me wonder and ponder all night doesn't make it any better? No? Yeah, i know you're feeling really insecure with my past, how open I am to others. But even now? I promised I'd treat you right this time, hadn't I? You keep thinking that you'd just be like the others I had in my life. But why not just give us a fair chance and start from the beginning? I know, you're not over all the trauma and everything. I too, have insecurities about you that I'm not done with. & i pretty much think that i wouldn't be done with it.
PMS-Y these few days. I can't help it. My emotions just magnifies. Everything. Jealousy, unhappiness, insecurities. You're not the only one who is feeling this way alright? I admit. I'm always jealous of your wife, and I really dont think it'd go away any time soon. Like what i asked you that day. "Why didn't you fall for her?" And yet Im still at there thinking and pondering feeling all this bullshit while I know that nothing is wrong. Ystd, when you said "What if i told you we kissed?" I acted so calm and all didnt I? But inside I was really thinking. But i knew you guys didn't. I can't help not feeling nothing, nor being jealous. I'm so done feeling this way but i CANT.
Things went pretty well for the first few weeks. It's not even a month and so much has happened. Arguments. I hate it. I really do. I'm just so tired. Do you know how worried i was when i saw your tweets? I called you like just a min aft your last tweet. And i assume that you just didn't wna talk to me. I wish I was someone you'd always turn to no matter what, I wish I was Cora. Sigh fts. K enough.
